|A Pox on Your Pox|
|Season Pilot, Episode 2|
|Air date||January 11, 2014|
|Ragin' Fun||Escape to Tooth Mountain|
Richard is looking for his telescope, and accidentally walks in on Alexis while she's changing her clothes. It turns out that Golan is in a treehouse, using the telescope to peep on Alexis. Richard wants to use the telescope for tomorrow night's meteor shower.
Carole reads an erotic story she's written about Golan to her Creative Writing Club. Meanwhile, Golan talks to Dylan about his plan to harvest the power of the upcoming meteor shower to open an interdimensional doorway to Gkruool and reclaim his throne. Dylan is excited to go with him, but he tells her she's not invited, to her great disappointment. Meanwhile, it turns out Dylan has chickenpox, and Golan wants to kill her, to solve the problem. But Carole stops him, after all the other members of the writing club (except the Mayor) flee in terror. The Mayor suggests Dylan have a party for all the other kids in town, who haven't had chickenpox yet. Dylan hates the idea, until she realizes she'd get to infect them all; then she gladly accepts the idea.
Alas, it turns out that Dylan has unexpectedly infected Golan, as well. Since he's now too sick to build the portal gate he needs, Dylan decides to build it herself. In exchange, he agrees to take her with him to Gkruool, though he doesn't really expect her to succeed in her efforts. That night, during the meteor shower, Dylan brings Golan to the portal she built. Before entering it herself, she confesses to her family that she loves them. However, the portal doesn't work, so she and Golan remain stuck on Earth, and Golan mocks her for loving her parents. After Dylan and her family leave to watch the shower, Golan hangs up the bag of placentas that had fallen from its proper place on the entrance to the portal, which then immediately activates and disappears, presumably transporting a couple of random kids who'd just run inside the portal to Gkruool. Golan decides not to tell Dylan that the portal actually worked.
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- Golan's line, "Down the dark decades of your pain, this will seem like a memory of Heaven." Is a quote from the film Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth.