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Dylan Crushed Reading
Dylanreading
Season Pilot, Episode 6
Vital statistics
Air date March 1, 2014
Written by Unknown
Directed by Unknown
Episode guide
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I Can Smell That Cheap Clone from Here Pilot (Season 1)

Dylan brings Golan to school for show and tell. Golan has brought with him his autobiography, "Golan on Golan," by Golan. He tells Dylan to read an excerpt, but it turns out she doesn't know how to read. So Golan and the whole class laugh at her.

Later, back at home, Golan asks about all the spells Dylan had cast from his Tome, and she says she just followed the pictures. Golan tries to torture her into reading, but Richard and Carole decide to send Dylan to Tutor Town. The kids in her reading class have to pair off with buddies, but no one wants to be Dylan's buddy, so the teacher pairs her with a weird boy named Swingley. When she gets home, she complains to her family about how annoying Swingley is, but Alexis teases her for having a crush on him, and Richard and Carole think it's cute, but Dylan is outraged that they all think she like likes Swingley. The next day, Golan snatches Dylan off the school bus and puts her in a cage with no distractions, to force her to learn to read. That night, Dylan manages to escape from the cage, just in time to learn that her parents have invited Swingley over for a play date, and they make Alexis and Keith take the two kids to Pepe Roni's. When Golan returns home, he's upset to find that Dylan has broken out of her cage.

While on their date, Dylan starts to actually like Swingley, even though she doesn't want to. But Golan shows up and tries to stop the date and make Dylan go back to learning to read. When he realizes Dylan actually likes Swingley, he kidnaps him, and later makes a video call to Dylan on her computer, demanding she go on a hero quest to save him. The quest requires her to read simple clues, but she continually refuses to do so, always choosing the more dangerous path. But she eventually manages to read the final clue, and rescues Swingley, who then falls off the roof of Pepe Roni's, where Golan was holding him captive. Golan and Dylan discuss how Swingley has a face they both want to punch, which is what made Dylan like Swingley.

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